Villain Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

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How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?

Not in a kids movie, dude. "Ok, but it's puppy skin " - Oh, then YES!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Where do super-villains get their coffee?

DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts.

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

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What ya call a lesbian with large fingers?

Well hung!

What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend?

Scissor me timbers

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Who's your friend who likes to play?

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What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

Robber Duck Jokes More Robber Duck Jokes

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

Robber ducks !

Lair Jokes More Lair Jokes

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?

They always have several lairs.

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.

Antagonist Jokes More Antagonist Jokes

What do you call a very small villain?

The Antagonist

What do you call an ant sized villain?

The *ant*agonist.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the bartender say to the girl that tried to steal a drink?

It was worth a shot.

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.