Yogi Jokes

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

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What did the yogi have for breakfast?

an lette

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out...

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey?

Anchor.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke?

Because they ror.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What is the strongest animal?

A racehorse because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?

Puss in boots !

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you make a rabbit stew?

Keep it waiting.

How are bad dubstep and constipation similar?

Both leave you waiting for the drop.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?

They always have several lairs.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Nah Jokes More Nah Jokes

What about "BusinessMyspace"?

Nah, it's taken. Okay, what about "LinkedIn"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!"