How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What does George Weasley see in the Mirror of Erised?

His reflection.

What is the best part about taking a shower?

Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What did one vampire say to the other vampire?

Is that you coffin

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires?

What's a movie?

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do birds give out on Halloween?

A: Tweets.

What's in a tweet?

That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess.