How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How does every black joke start?

By looking over your shoulder!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

the outlet

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What does a dog see in the mirror?

A chair

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What kind of eye disease do vampires get?

Dracular degeneration.

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What do you get when you kiss a canary?

Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.