How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why does Tyler Perry put his name on everything he makes?

So you know what shows to watch.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What about my atm card which holds all my money?

Any 4 numbers in a row."

What town should a "mountain oyster" festival be held in?

Oxnard, CA

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

Angel Jokes More Angel Jokes

What happened when the two angels got married?

They lived harpily ever after!

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)