Angel Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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Why women prefer devils instead of angels?

Because devils are horny.

This joke may have profanity.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

How many angels can a pinhead dance on?

To hold up their pants.

What do you call the angel in charge of hydroelectrics?

A God dam engineer.

What do you call a woman in heaven?

An Angel A crowd of women in heaven - A host of Angels And all women in heaven - PEACE ON EARTH!

What happened when the two angels got married?

They lived harpily ever after!

What did one angel say to the other?

Halo."

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo.

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

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What did the angel say when he saw God make the element Phosphorus?

It's a match made in Heaven!

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

Where'd he go?

and the angel said, "He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes" and they were like, "Word."

How's your wife been?

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours " Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?

If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".

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Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?

because they get lost at C!

Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Cain Jokes More Cain Jokes

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Ucla Jokes More Ucla Jokes

What happens when the fog lifts in California?

UCLA.

What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?

UCLA

Eve Jokes More Eve Jokes

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

Why do Egyptian farts smell the same?

They have toots in common.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?

Thanks I needed that.

How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Los Angeles Lakers Jokes More Los Angeles Lakers Jokes

What did the Los Angeles Lakers finish on tuesday?

Kim Kardashian's face.

What do you get when you get in a fight with the Los Angeles Lakers lead point scorer?

Kobe beef