What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

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Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What should you do when people talk behind your back?

Fart

Why fart and waste it?

When you can burp and taste it.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What does a gang member do when he arrives at work first thing in the morning?

He Glocks in

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

Midday Jokes More Midday Jokes

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.