What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why are giraffe's necks so long?

Because their heads are so far away from their bodies!

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems.

What is a hypocrite?

An atheist writer praying his book will sell.