Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why did the book join the police?

He wanted to work undercover.

How are books like dogs?

The good ones are hard to put down

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why are people not right in the head?

Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!

What does 007 wear on his head?

A Bondana.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?

Pigs don't have red noses.

What do you call children who are afraid of Santa ?

They are Clausaphobic

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase?

Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk?

Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Pastryarchy Jokes More Pastryarchy Jokes

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?

A pastryarchy.

Feminism Jokes More Feminism Jokes

How did Feminism start?

With an unlocked kitchen door

What are the three kinds of women's cancer?

1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism

George Zimmerman Jokes More George Zimmerman Jokes

Who ya gonna call?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.