What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?

Americans don't get them.

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What did the redneck say to the Frenchman?

You don't speak English fourchette!

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

What did the escalator say to the elevator?

Nothing, he just staired.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

Why are planes strong?

Because they can LIFT