What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the simplest way to make edibles?

Using an easy-bake oven.

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did chicken cross the road?

Because Intermediate value theorem

What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event?

Cross country

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.