Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

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What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

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What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common?

They're both tree fellers.

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Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

Answer: "I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha! :)

How far can you run into the woods?

Halfway, any further and you're running out.

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What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

How many Zionists does it take to change a light bulb?

OC Just one. And if you disagree with me, you're an anti-Semite.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why can't ducks tell jokes when they fly?

Cause they would quack up.

Why did the Lebo die?

Cause he was fullllly sik m8.

Global Warming Jokes More Global Warming Jokes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

What's the difference between a computer program and global warming?

One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?

amaized.

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

Sir Charge

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.