What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's the difference between Stephen Harper and Rob Ford?

One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes lines.

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why does a cow have hooves but not feet?

Cause they lactose.

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

Lower Jokes More Lower Jokes

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

How many people live in the lower part of Italy?

There are literally Sicilians.

Standard Jokes More Standard Jokes

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

One has standards.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

What is the first thing a blind man says?

My eyes! My eyes!