Standard Jokes

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

One has standards.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Why did the banjo player get into heaven?

The devil has standards.

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

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Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

What's worse than a polar bear?

A bi-polar bear.

What kind of money do polar bears use ?

Ice lolly !

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union?

They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

Noel Jokes More Noel Jokes

What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters?

Noe(L)...no "L"

What's the difference between the standard alphabet and Christmas alphabet?

There's Noel.

Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

Christmas Alphabet Jokes More Christmas Alphabet Jokes

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

Usb Jokes More Usb Jokes

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

USB

What country is next to USA?

USB.