What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

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Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What did the aardvark say to Noah?

What do you mean you only brought two ants!

What boy doesn't love milkshakes?

If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

Beast Jokes More Beast Jokes

What is 667?

The neighbor of the beast.

What does the number 668 represent?

The of the Beast.

Abduct Jokes More Abduct Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.