What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

Why isn't Kanye West allowed in rural Pennsylvania?

An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the overweight woman say to Buffalo Bill when she woke up?

I can't feel my face when I'm with you...

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?

It fro's up.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the dog run in circles?

He was a watchdog and needed winding.

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop Hispanic attacks.

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender?

No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. end metajoke