What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

What do you call fruits that aren't allowed to marry?

OC Cantaloupes.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed?

Defiled.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How long is the movie?

I need to know what time to pick her up.

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop Hispanic attacks.

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Why does Jesus and bartenders have so much in common?

Bcoz they are single, have no kids, got nailed and serve alcoholic beverage.