What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

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Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why doesn't North Korea's population exponentially grow?

Because they must build additional pylons.

Why did the entrepreneur decide to go into the landfill business?

He heard it was a growing field.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.

Explode Jokes More Explode Jokes

What do you call an exploding horse?

Neigh-Palm

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie.

Balloon Animal Jokes More Balloon Animal Jokes

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

What do you call a balloon animal made out of a condom?

A Trojan horse.

Squeeze Jokes More Squeeze Jokes

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

What's a python's favourite pop group ?

Squeeze !