Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between dawn and dusk?

d(sun)/dt *facepalm* I'll see myself out.

How do you get an elephant on a train?

You take the "S" out of sub, and the "F" out of way. Say it out loud

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

Shag Jokes More Shag Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.