What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you with 365 used rubbers?

Turn it into a tire and call it a goodyear.

What does an unborn fetus and a tube of toothpaste have in common?

Neither of them can be used as functional tables.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Horse Santa put his dentist on the naughty list?

You don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

Jesus Christ Jokes More Jesus Christ Jokes

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A: A blonde tried to shoot herself!

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?

I don't know what you're Tolkien about!" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.