What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call a good looking canyon?

Gorge-ous

Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To send people to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house... Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why do gingers love driving Kias?

It's the only way they can own a soul.

What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?

the pirate replies: "Arr, it's been driving me nuts"

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll get back to you in a few weeks

What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console?

Wednesday

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

Glance Jokes More Glance Jokes

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."