Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

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Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

What do jesus and girls have in common?

The expression on their faces when they got nailed.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do I need a girlfriend for?

When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?

How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish?

You give her a test-tickle.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head?

Duck.

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's black and white and can't fit through a door?

x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

How many women have you slept with?

she asked. I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten " "Oh, I say. Go on then." she laughed. I said, "0."

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A "booquet" of flower.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.