When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How do you know if a redditor gave money to Bernie Sanders?

Just wait 5 minutes. They'll post about it.

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What's the most believed oxymoron?

Peaceful muslims

Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning?

Because he was in deNile

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the shark go to the doctors?

Because he didn't feel very whale

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What did the raisin see when she came home early from work?

Her husband on a date.

How did you know that the janitors were dating?

They were caught sweeping together.

Prescription Jokes More Prescription Jokes

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that?

Now it would be for the prescriptions.