When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the algae end up at school?

She wanted to buy an algae bra.

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

What do you call money that grows on trees?

Marijuana

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick?

Because the Doctor can never see him.

How much has this man had to drink?

Nurse: "I can't tell." Dr: "It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What is the most popular dating website in the south?

Ancestry.com

Why couldn't the woman date a German man?

Because she was Klaustrophobic!

Prescription Jokes More Prescription Jokes

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

When your prescription says "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS" how many beers are you really allowed to have?

6