When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why do people in wheelchairs have such low confidence?

Because they never stand up for themselves.

How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What do you call a punch that can knock out 40 first graders?

A Sandy Hook

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What did the cannibals do with the midget?

Put another shrimp on the barbie.

What did the doctor say to the midget waiting in the lobby?

You're just going to have to be a little patient.