When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

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Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

What did the stoplight say to the car?

Don't look, I'm changing!

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What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives?

An anti-derivative.

How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?

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Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant?

Gnocchi.

What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant?

ALOHA SNACKBAR

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Whisper Jokes More Whisper Jokes

What it is, sweetie?

3: shouting I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is " 3: whispering no.

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"