When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Previous Random Joke Next

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

What the hell are you doing here in my white and gold dress?

No honey, it s not what it looks like."

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic ..

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Whisper Jokes More Whisper Jokes

Where are you from?

So where are you from?" "I'm a Liberian" "Oh sorry" *whispers*

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"