Restaurant Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

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What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant?

He ordered some NaCl.

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

What did the newly paroled French prisoner name his restaurant?

Attempted Crepe

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant?

ALOHA SNACKBAR

What would you call a restaurant for anorexics?

The Empty Plate...

What is the worst dinosaur to take to a restaurant?

A pretentious connoisseurous.

What do you call a grenade thrown into a restaurant in France?

French Toast.

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

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Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

They barely had any atmosphere.

Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant.

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

How do dogs order eggs at restaurants?

A: Pooched.

Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

There was no atmosphere

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"?

Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p

What restaurant does a fast food worker/hacker work at?

HackDonalds.

What did the Mexican... What did the Mexican man order at the country musician themed restaurant?

A Reba!

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

What's the difference between reddit and resturant ?

Restaurants have better servers.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

What do you call a vampire who owns a restaurant?

Count Spatula

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant?

In'n'Out Burger

Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant?

Gnocchi.

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a very large bill.

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

Where did the API go to eat?

To the RESTaurant.

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Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert?

Because he was stuffed!

Vietnamese Jokes More Vietnamese Jokes

What is a group of hooligans acting like they are Vietnamese called?

Gang, 'Nam Style.

What do you call a lineup at a Vietnamese restaurant?

A Pho queue

Popeye Jokes More Popeye Jokes

Why does Popeye have such huge forearms?

Olive Oil is a virgin

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Pirate Favorite Restaurant Jokes More Pirate Favorite Restaurant Jokes

What is a pirate's favorite restaurant?

Arrrrrrby's

What be a pirate's favorite restaurant?

You'd think it was Arby's, but it's actually Long John Silver's.

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What sound does a Chinese roller coaster make as it goes up an incline?

chink chink chink chink

Why do Chinese knights have a low rate of survival?

They all have chinks in their armor.

Pho Queue Jokes More Pho Queue Jokes

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you use to check your cell from across the room?

A telephono lens.

What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards