Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

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What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

How much do pirates pay for earrings?

Somewhere around a buck an ear.

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What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods?

Darth Deciduous

What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people?

Dead people had lives.

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Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

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How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch?

pay him for the pizza.

Where do pirates go after they are thrown out of Kansas?

Arkansas