Kansas Jokes

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

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How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch?

pay him for the pizza.

What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates?

Arkansas

What's the inverse of Kansas?

Arkansas

Where do pirates go after they are thrown out of Kansas?

Arkansas

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in kansas.

What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas?

He'd be an illegal alien.

What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?

Baryon my wayward son!

Where Do Pirates From Kansas Go?

AR-Kansas

Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

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What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

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House Jokes More House Jokes

How many Estonians you need to build a house in Finland ?

Who knows, there is no tax record of it.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Beaver E! Beaver E who?

Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us!

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

State Jokes More State Jokes

Which state does the most laundry?

Washington.

What US state has a lot of dirty laundry?

Washington

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

How do we know Jesus was a man?

We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming.

Carrion Jokes More Carrion Jokes

Why are condors such efficient fliers?

All their luggage is carrion.

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why can't Pirates spell the alfhabet?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRgh

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

How does a dark-skinned boy have light-skinned hands?

because paint! -my four-year-old daughter.