Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

What did the middle eastern man say to his marijuana enthusiast wife?

Stoner!

What's more illegal than marijuana?

My Mexican neighbor

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Where do ghost trains stop?

At devil crossings.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why does more black people get run over during the day?

You can't see them when it is night.

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

How do lions like their steaks?

RAWR

Rancher Jokes More Rancher Jokes

Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore Throat?

Because they always get a little hoarse

Why did the rancher get out of the hemp-fed beef market?

The steaks were too high.

Steer Jokes More Steer Jokes

What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?

Roost beef!

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)