Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do you say that?

Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs. :D

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn two colors that work into a rainbow that doesn't?

Colorizebot

What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police?

You bust a nut

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first?

A Wookie mistake!

How will you be paying, sir?

Check mate"..

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between an 8-ball and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How do Muslims close a door?

Islams it.

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

What's he like?

asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women."

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed