Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

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Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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What do you call someone who hates pencils?

Erracist

Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

Why would you ask me for directions?

You just saw me walk into a closed door.

What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions?

Arrows con Pollo

Lotion Jokes More Lotion Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers