Direction Jokes

Why did George cross the road?

He didn't look in both directions before crossing.

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How does the leper give directions?

It's straight ahead, just my finger".

What does aerosmith say when someone asks them for directions?

Walk this way

What is Rickon Stark's favourite band ?

One Direction.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask for directions.

What is the only bent straight line?

Its one direction of course.

What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions?

Arrows con Pollo

Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

What's a one way streets favorite band?

One Direction

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

What do you call a Native American girl that is really good with directions?

A Navajo.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why was the scalar depressed?

Because he had no direction.

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!

How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Where Your Children Are?

Even worse, the next song is called, "Can You Give Me Directions "

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

What did One Direction say when they became popular?

Zayn Ma Luck

What is Rickon Stark's favorite band?

One Direction

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II?

I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

What would you say are your strengths?

Me: Words Him: Can you say more Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions

Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude?

Vector Hugo.

Why would you ask me for directions?

You just saw me walk into a closed door.

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?

Jail break.

Why are they called One Direction?

Looks to me like they go both ways.

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?

He was asking for directions.

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

What do you call a boy-band composed of stoners?

No Direction.

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction?

Wong Wei

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport?

Terminal velocity.

What directions did the ghost give the goblin?

A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Why did you leave your previous job?

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

A: Make sure one is a match!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane ?

A pilot, of course.

What came first the egg or the Chicken?

the egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?

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Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

Arrow Jokes More Arrow Jokes

What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow?

A Chinese telephone. Wing wing. Arrow?

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

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What do you call a white man in a ghetto?

An ambulance.

What's the most Ghetto cheese?

E-Dayyyyyyyyyymn (Edam)

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

Why are people in silicon valley better coders than others?

Because of their proximity to the I'll let myself out..

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?

A cow that can milk itself !

What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?

A WOOLY JUMPER :)