Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally?

He was trying to hold the door

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a fish with two knees?

A two-knee fish! (works better when you're drunk)

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's black and looks good on a lawyer?

An unconvicted felon.

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

What is the difference b/w secretary &amp private secretary?

Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR &amp Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.