Candy Jokes

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

What did the pedophiliac rabbi say to the young boy?

Hey there little boy, you wanna BUY some candy?

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

and

Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby?

Stealing candy from a dead baby.

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Whats your favorite pickup line?

Mine is: I'll give you candy if you get in the van

What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?

Dental floss !

How do sheep divide candy?

They all get their fair shear

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ?

Candy cow jump over the moon !

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.

You might also enjoy:

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

the Steaks are high."

Tutsi Roll Jokes More Tutsi Roll Jokes

What's a hutu's least favorite candy?

A Tutsi roll!

What do you call a Rwandan tribe falling down a hill?

Tutsi Roll.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't ghosts make babies?

They have hollow weenies! .... And I'll just see myself out.

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

How do you chip thin ice off a window?

You bust a rime.

Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

So that they could make fish and chips.

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth?

78.5

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.