Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three ho's.

What do Santa's little helpers learn in school?

The Elfabet!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

What's a Jackhammer's Best Friend?

Cast Steel! Bahahahahah! You know! Cause it has a poor dampening value it vibrates so much! They um. They both vibrate. Well ok. One vibrates, the other reciprocates. That's kinda... Hehe. Heh. Reciprocate my humor damn it!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why can't Casper have kids?

Cause he has a Halloweenie

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What do you tell a slow tomato?

what Ketchup

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why do elephants live in the jungle?

Because it's out of the high rent district.

What's the difference between a burlap sack and my nutsack?

The babies in my nutsack are still living.

Naughty Girl Jokes More Naughty Girl Jokes

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.