Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's common between Marriage & a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

How do you want me to label this stone armchair?

He said, "No man, clay chair."

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding?

Speed is relative, officer."

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why does Martin Luther King like jam?

Because God bless America

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.