Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want to have next?

Me: a vasectomy

Why did the cowboy want a Weiner dog?

To get a long little doggy.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

America Jokes More America Jokes

What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks?

Minnesota.

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.