Bird Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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Tweetment Jokes More Tweetment Jokes

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?

We don't need an asteroid...

What's the difference between a contradiction and a punchline?

There's no punchline for this joke.

Oinkment Jokes More Oinkment Jokes

What does a pig use for his skin?

Oinkment.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

Require Jokes More Require Jokes

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ?

With it's sparrowchute !

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

How's she getting on?

I replied, "I'm not sure, I think they use a crane."

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?

To a re-tail store!

Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?

He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret