Colin Kaepernick Jokes

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

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What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

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Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth?

Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace.

Martyr Jokes More Martyr Jokes

What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ?

To die as a martyr.

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's in a Paul Walker shot ?

An Irish car bomb followed by a shot of Fireball

Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ?

If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

What's the difference between a beggar and a US Politician?

A beggar has retained his integrity.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How did he get off?

It wouldn't stand up in court

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection?

A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry.

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!

What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?

Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What does the Jolly Green Giant have on his feet?

Pota-TOES!

How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.