Colin Kaepernick Jokes

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

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What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What does a terrorist tell hes son?

Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?

An erection and a place to put it.

What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Martyr Jokes More Martyr Jokes

What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ?

To die as a martyr.

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why is my hand 11 inches long?

Because if it were any longer it would be a foot!

How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer?

The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

What do you call two old black men standing in a shed?

Antique machinery

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!