Decline Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

How do you make a dog say meow?

How do you make a dog say meow? Put it in the freezer, then get a chainsaw and cut it. MEEEEEEEOOOWWW!!

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Biker Jokes More Biker Jokes

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Raid Jokes More Raid Jokes

How do you start a raid in Ethiopia?

Staple food to the ceiling!

Why don't people raid dodo nests anymore?

Because their eggs stinked!

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

Why should you always invite mushrooms to your parties?

They're fun guys!

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.