Drunk Driving Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

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How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

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Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede.

What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?

A centipede

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What did one math book say to the other?

A: Man I got a lot of problems!

What did one math book say to the other math book?

You've got problems.

Du Jokes More Du Jokes

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

Stone Driver Jokes More Stone Driver Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

How do you know you are at r/jokes?

The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science