Good Dad Jokes

Why don't airplanes make good dads?

They are always taking off.

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Why was the storm trooper such a good dad?

He could never hit his kids.

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Compete Jokes More Compete Jokes

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Dad Joke Jokes More Dad Joke Jokes

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

What is a dad joke?

Punchlines that got married and settled down.

Pretty Jokes More Pretty Jokes

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

What kind of toothpaste do MLG use?

Pretty much anything, just no Scope.

Encourage Jokes More Encourage Jokes

How do trees encourage one another?

They say "I'm rooting for you"

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?

Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you stop a woman giving you head?

Marry her.

What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

Simon Jokes More Simon Jokes

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What do astronauts do to host a party?

They planet.

What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

A Wurst-Kse Scenario