Horcrux Jokes

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

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What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

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Virginity Jokes More Virginity Jokes

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?

A: Her crayons are still sticky.

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

A: Peter Dinkl-age

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

Ron Weasley Jokes More Ron Weasley Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between me and a pile of bricks?

The bricks will get laid.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Why did a lightbulb in the candy store go out?

It needed to get it's fill o' mint.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town?

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado.

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.