Humour Jokes

Why don't Germans like humour?

Because it's inefficient!

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Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're efficient and don't have humour.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and don't like humour.

How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour.

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.

Where would we be in the world without humour?

Germany.

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens to superficial people when they die?

They end up in a shallow grave.

What is it called when an unborn baby dies in a horse-drawn sleigh?

A mis-carriage

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

How do chinese people laugh over the internet?

Lmao Zedong

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

What do you call a Canadian group of racists?

The Ku Kanux Klan.

Actuary Jokes More Actuary Jokes

What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?

Invite an accountant.

Desert Jokes More Desert Jokes

Who circles a dying gost in the desert?

ghost buzzards

Why was the cake lonely?

Because he was deserted by his friends

Optician Jokes More Optician Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician?

because he didn't C#