Intel Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

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Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Why do teenagers want to work for Intel?

Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?

A: The warning label.

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Ebay Jokes More Ebay Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?

Ebay.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call fireworks that don't work?

Fireunemployed.

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

Sticker Jokes More Sticker Jokes

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

How's my driving?

sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

Pentium Jokes More Pentium Jokes

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?

A: Successive approximations.

Amd Jokes More Amd Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What does A&ampW stand for?

Amburgers &amp Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost