How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye?

Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic?

You're dead to me."

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese

Scottish Man Jokes More Scottish Man Jokes

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call a clan for chickens?

Coo clucks clan