Johnson Jokes

What is the best thing about Dwane "the rock" Johnson's physique?

Nobody takes him for granite.

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Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?

They all have phones.

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

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Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

Phone Book Jokes More Phone Book Jokes

Why dont they use phone books in China?

Because they have so many Wing's and Wong's That they might Wing the Wong Numba!!!

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?

Cause they all have phones!

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea?

Because the shark burped.

Why is the sea so strong?

It has a lot of mussels.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

Current Event Jokes More Current Event Jokes

What do corals get stressed about?

Current events.

Why are Saudis so behind on current events?

Because they live under Iraq.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

How do you...?

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable Give it aids.