Length Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

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Revenant Jokes More Revenant Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal?

handsfree

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

What's the difference between a midget chess team and a ladies track team?

One is a group of cunning little runts.... the other is a group of running little C

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Who wants to play war?

I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?

He was far out man. --

How did the ancient Greeks seperate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.