Marvel Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

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Who makes the music for the Marvel movies?

The Avengers Ensemble.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

How do you make Aquaman cool?

Put him in water!

Kernel Jokes More Kernel Jokes

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do cats speak to people?

They commeownicate.

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

Some people are against shooting guns.

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why was the stadium so cool?

it was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?

Nothing, she had her mittens on.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What kind of music does a pirate like?

Arrr'n'B

What's your favorite genre of music?

Not Metal."