Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps make a good boyfriend?

He is a good breast-stroker.

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How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

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Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim?

In da Nile

How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go swimming?

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many people live in South America?

A Brazilian.

Why did the woman refuse to pay for her Brazilian waxing?

A: Because it was a total rip-off.

Williams Jokes More Williams Jokes

What should be Serena William's nickname?

Tennis-ee Williams

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Why do gingers hang out with black people?

Because gingers have no soul, and black people have too much!

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Compete Jokes More Compete Jokes

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

Men Jokes More Men Jokes

What's long and hard and full of "SEE-MEN"?

A submarine, obviously.

Why are Mens bathrooms usually to the left?

Because women are right.