Neigh Jokes

What did the horse get on his oral exam?

A-neigh

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What do you call a horse that lives next to you?

A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke.

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What does the horse call the pigs on his farm?

Neigh-boars.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

What's Sarah Jessica Parker's favorite dance move?

The Neigh Neigh.

What do you call a story about beastiality?

Fifty Shades of Neigh

This joke may have profanity.

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A palmatian!

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They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

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Everybody loves Putin!

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What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

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Smells like teen spirit.

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What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

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Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times?

Because they live under Iraq.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

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What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh

What do you call a wine loving horse?

Chardon-neigh.

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What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

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2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...