Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

Why was the Sublime cover band so bad?

They don't practice Santeria.

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call an eskimo with no friends?

An iglooser

What does a 1337 pirate call his friends?

M80

Politic Jokes More Politic Jokes

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

What country is the most fragile?

China!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What do French labor reforms and French citizens have in common?

They'll never work.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.