Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

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Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even.

How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he wishes it was two.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What does weed and the Quran have in common?

If you burn it you get stoned

Who's there A gorgon. A gorgon who?

420 gaze it. Geddit. Because then you'd be stoned Okay, sorry I'll leave.

Prick Jokes More Prick Jokes

What do you call a black guy who reneges on a promise?

Unreliable, you racist prick.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do you identify a baboon?

Easy, they stick out like a sore bum!

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

Why did the snail paint an S on the back of his car?

So when he drove by people would say, "Hey, look at that S car go!"

Audi Jokes More Audi Jokes

What does a German say at a Dude Ranch?

AUDI.

What does all Audi owners have in common?

A golden d

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

How do nursing babies blow their noses?

With breast tissue.

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?